Both Feet

"We are always getting ready to live but never living" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

How long have I been "getting ready to live"? How long have I put off the things that I yearn to do but my weight or my food or my numbing behavior has gotten in the way? A long time. Too long.
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I planned and I made lists. I had great ideas. I schemed and dreamed, never putting myself out there; never taking the risk of being seen, of being hurt, of being vulnerable. All of my accomplishments were in my imagination. All of my dreams, up in the clouds, never coming true. Such a safe, cocooned life.

To live is to vibrate with energy and to allow the thrill of the unknown to be alive in me. To live is to risk. To live is to take a stand for what matters. To live is to say yes and embrace the full spectrum of emotions. To live is to fall down and get up and keep on doing because that's the sauce, that's the good stuff.
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For too long I have believed that if I did it my way, it would work out. Look where it got me. Sick and tired and numb, afraid to live. So here I am, humbled, surrendering, ready to jump into this life with both feet.